I dream big

Like, what exactly my boyfriend said, I’ve been thinking that this two years working have been consuming my whole energy for it I’ve become a very ordinary girl who lost her ambitious soul. I work, and rarely doing new things or going to new places. For the past months, my daily routine never come out of the cycle: wake up – take shower – walk to the office – be a nice probie – go home – take shower (if necessary) – sleep, and it has never been this bad. Once he told me to do this, this, and this, but it just couldnt get rid off my feeling of stagnation.

I do sport, regularly having my after-office run on tuesday and thursday with my colleagues. Once I started to manage it, I was all alone. But, persistence paid up, now, I have at least two buddies for the sake of belly fat they will run for miles to burn it. Yes, I am their role model, haha. And, here is the good news, we’ve been planning to ‘establish’ something called: energy runner!

I read books, currently reading me before you by jojo moyes though I’ve watched the movie and knew the ending. My two cents, next time I read soon to be major picture movie novel, I will never watched the movie first. I’ve got seriously wild imagination of that kind of novel and movie helps nothing but cages it. Just like what it did when I read If I Stay.

I love music, and yes, that American and British best friend singer are my favourite ones. Someone gave me a music player on my 23th birthday and it turned out to be my must-bring item on my bag. I have playing lists, one for running, one for reading, and one for the hours left to keep me productive in case things get boring.

I help myself by putting important things on the journal. And that’s not enough. I need to make it colourful and attractive to be seen to gain mood. I have blue pen to write the list, pink to check it when it done, green for additional notes, and yellow for emoticons. Sometime, I find myself happy being perfectionist.

I once believe all those things would keep me happy doing life and save me from a steady boring ones. Thinking it out loud, I was wrong. Not 100% wrong cause it makes you feel good though that good only last in hours. I then clearly remember my colleges life when it kept me busy with social things that I couldnt manage my schedule. I was happy, very happy, though at the end my GPA came below my expectation (it’s not my intention to blame my social activities). You know, I remember all happy things happened in college but forget one. I forget to write my goal down, the one that will keep me on tracks, no matter how hard and unfair life is. During college, I used to wrote any single goal I want to reach in the time to come, and magically they come true one bye one: wear hijab, travel around Indonesia for free, buy a house, etc. I even wrote silly things such ‘pengen diliput TV, punya pacar, punya rambut panjang’ haha.

For now almost my dreamlist checked, I want to dream something bigger. In years to come, I want to pursue my magister program on energy in UCB – USA, come back with comprehensive understanding of energy sector and give positive contribution for Indonesia. For God give me a way, someday I want to be a leader in government institution. I also want to build a happy family, be an inspiring, caring and loving lady for the husband and children.

Yes, I dream big. Big enough that it scares me.  May Allah SWT guides me.

Things may not fair at work and life may not as smooths as I expected. So let it be.